Anniversary

A year ago February 4th I was diagnosed with cancer,Breast Cancer. It's hard to believe a year has passed and that the ordeal is behind me, because truthfully the fear of a recurrence is with me every time I eat something. I wonder if my body is growing more cancer and if I'm eating enough anti-cancer foods. I know I eat too much sugar. It's hard to feed my boys what they will eat and make what I should be eating.

To mark the year, I treated myself to a weekend painting workshop with Stewart Cubley of Process Arts. It was his class, the Painting Experience, that I took back in 1988 that helped me pick up where I left off in 3rd grade, painting for fun and not concerned about the product. The workshop was at Fort Mason and it was a gorgeous weekend, sunny and warm. For the past 3 years my paintings have been fast, done in an hour or so before the dance class starts at 7, a useful deadline that has become an incredibly fertile practice. But in the workshop, I painted on one big painting for hours, adding two more sheets the second day and making it even bigger. "I surrender, I pray, and I expunge." I indulged in layer upon layer, quietly patternizing and getting into the groove. In that process, I had a sensation that "trust" was a physical feeling. If I could feel that sensation, I could trust.

I took this painting for the alter last week and it was great to get some distance on it. I've included a photo of the alter...thanks to Kathleen's vision...as usual, the painting came and fit in perfectly