Eva emailed:

Dear Lauren
The theme today will be the Hara point again. Bring your painting from last
week, too.... For me the Hara point is, where the power and strength of the inner dancer lives..
Hugs to you my dear
Love
Eva
Looking forward what you are coming up with today

This is the first time I have painted the same theme two weeks in a row. Last week was energy points along the life force line without the physical body. This week, I imagined myself as I lay on the floor and do my warm up. I breathe into my core. It takes concentration to balance and strength to stay in this form for a minute or two.

In the painting, the background circles represent other Hara points all around, people in my life, people on the dance floor. The washed out circles below are bigger and represent our ancestors, Hara points linked to me genetically.

Hara Point

Dance theme from 10-8-10:

Our theme today and next week is "support" .
Today we will go into the inner support of the Hara point, which is one of the energy centers along the center line.

Facing the blank paper, I started with the Hara point. I kept intending to add a figure, to draw a body, but it didn't work out. I kept painting energy points along the Life Force, yet the body did not present.

I've been reading the Power of Now and meditating on "beingness." Here it is. The life force that is not dependent on the body to be seen. Maybe the lesson of having cancer is to cultivate my spirit being and worry less about my body being. Of course, I want to stay in my body as long as possible, but maybe if I develop a strong sense of being, when I do lose my body, my spirit will move on in another form.

To my surprise, fellow dancers loved this painting. It is fun to let something unknown emerge. And trust it. Trust my process. Trust my dance. Trust myself. Getting there one painting at a time.

Being Held

"The dance theme today is again the 360 degrees. This time we use the image of the tree to explore the space around us with arms, mobilize the arms... And reinhabit the space around us on all sides. Invite all sides of us. ... The underlying theme also is to not go on autopilot on the dancefloor but to stay engaged. Looking forward what you come up with. Big hugs E"

This is what I came up with. People dancing in community, filling space above, below, in front, beside and behind them. In a faceted world. Now I see it as my family, bound together in a house of cards, vulnerable to falling through the cracks. I try and keep the yellow field strong for them, offering love and support so that they don't slip through the bars. There is only so much I can do in my compromised energy level? Am I doing the right things? Should I be doing more? Is there enough structure that I can do less? let go? focus on myself? Go out into the world 10 hours a day to bring home the bacon and provide a roof over their heads, money to pay for their activities, and have health insurance to stave off disaster? Is it too much for me to handle or do I trust myself to persevere and believe we will still be connected and loving when some of it falls apart?