a Cruel drug

I just searched these blogs with the tag "breast cancer" and "met" fellow bloggers dealing with BC. those lucky one in eight that are members of this rotten club. It is such an emotional roller coaster. The Tamoxifen continues to reveal its affects on me, blocking my estrogen and tweaking my body. A little league mom who is a year ahead of me on this BC journey said "Tamoxifen is a cruel drug." That says it all. It's robbing me of the natural unfolding of menopause. The journey of becoming a wise old crone has become a journey of recurrence avoidance and down shifting from 5th gear into 3rd gear...lots of grinding and surprises. Not a smooth ride. there is always something odd now going on with my little body. Last year someone who had cancer told me that "every little ache and pain you feel you'll ask yourself if it's cancer." I remember thinking, no I won't....but guess what??? Yes I do!

The Center Line

The theme for was "the Center Line...moving with Balance." Look how the painting lines up as a head dress for the buddha...and the dancer is supported, the feet wedged in. This painting is inspired by a new dancer to our group who spins from the center line so elegantly and with verve and passion. I can barely keep up with her. I'm good for a song at a time, but now I am learning to follow the slower rythmns to accomodate my "new normal" of energy. Slowing down isn't as much fun, but showing up and giving it my all is worth a lot.