Whew...and my gift to strangers

I had my bi-annual mammogram today and although I don't have the formal radiology report, there seemed to be nothing of interest on the images.  Whew.  Every six months I find this combo mammogram/Dr. visit nerve wracking. .  After you have your turn in a room getting your breast squashed between two cold plexiglass plates, you remain in the light cotton wrap sitting in a waiting room to see if they need more images taken.   There were three other women in this inner sactum, and we were all at varying stages of the breast cancer experience.  One women was 19 years out, another just getting a Fine Needle Aspiration, the first step to see if there are cancer cells in a new found lump.  I handed the three women one of my painting mini-cards.  A bright little image emmanating life force.  It felt wonderful and somehow liberating to offer my images to strangers.  They were delighted. When I came out the 2nd time (I was called back in for more images because my scar, coupled with my dense breast tissue, obscures the area of the original tumor site, making it hard to detect new lumps) there were two new women deep in conversation. When one was called in to have her mammography, the other seemed crushed to be separated and left behind.  I retrieved my belongings from the locker and dressed in the changing room. On my way out, I handed the lone women two mini-cards and said "here is an offering for you and your friend."  The women took them, looked at each one, and then looked at me with surprise and big smile and said "thank you."  It was a random act of kindness and felt incredibly gratifying.  It seemed the right place to hand out my painting cards to strangers.

  

KINDNESS

OPEN to Gratitude

I spent last weekend in the presence of and listening to anthropologist Angeles Arrien in a workshop on Gratitude at the Mount Madonna Center in Watsonville.  She is a lovely woman with an open heart. To sit in her presence and hear her speak was magical.

I hadn't been at dance for two weeks due to Yom Kippor, (another experience atoning and cleansing of the past year while sitting in community). So when I entered the dance hall, put my painting up, and saw Eva, I told her "I feel I'm a different person than I was when I was here two weeks ago."  That statement popped out of my mouth, and I'm still not sure why.

The dance theme from Eva was "Be in the space/room NOW"   But after having this painting witnessed on the Altar for 2 hours, someone suggested the title...OPEN.  It sums up my experience of gratitude...that I can open my heart to myself and others.  That I can be protected and still offer compassion instead of judgement.